What an awesome kid!

At the end of our interview, I ask young Will a question that might be a civics test nightmare for your average 10-year-old. Will’s answer, though, is good enough — simple enough, true enough — to give me a little rush of goose pimples. What does being an American mean?

“Freedom of speech,” Will says, without even stopping to think. “The freedom to disagree. That’s what I think pretty much being an American represents.”

Somewhere, Thomas Jefferson smiles.

I hope you are with angels now.

Body of Shaniya Davis Found Alongside North Carolina Highway – ABC News.

I touched on issues surrounding the term illegal alien* a couple weeks ago in Walking the (color)Line, when I mentioned a couple ways I suspected this term has affected my children’s perceptions of the Hispanic community. There was a part of me that wondered whether I was reading too much into things… but let’s just say that’s no longer a concern. Within the last week or two, I read a blog or article about multiracial girls being asked what color their husbands would be. I wondered if Halle had ever heard or been asked something like this. I made a little note to self to bring it up, but Thursday night in the car, she raised the subject. She was talking about how she was going to date a boy for one year when she grew up, and asked if that was too long. I told her it depended on the boy; with some boys, a year might be too long, with another, a year may not be long enough. She suddenly started talking about whether this boy might be white or black and something about so and so… I interrupted and asked if people asked her that, and she confirmed. Then I asked, “Do you guys talk about that?” and she responds matter of factly, “Oh, yeah.” I asked if that was something that had just come up this year, and she said no, it was last year too. I asked how it came up, and she said, just when they talk about who they think is cute. She continued with her story…

“Anyway, so and so asked me once, and I said he would probably be Black or White, but not Mexican, but then I met Tristan, and I like him and I think he’s cute, and he’s Mexican…”

Her voice trailed off.

I asked why she hadn’t thought she would date someone who was Mexican before Tristan.

“Well, cuz they do a lot of bad things. I mean, they’re always on the news cuz they’re criminals… and stuff.”

cue my breaking (anti-racist) heart.

Needless to say, we had an immediate conversation about perception, stereotypes, racism, media bias, and Bull Connor Jr. Nickel Bag Joe Sherrif Arpaio. And we will continue to have these conversations (and others, like how there are a lot more people in the world than just Black, White or Hispanic), because this IS a big problem. And it’s not because this flies in the face of what I believe personally, but because the seed of racism is finding roothold in the heart of THIS child.

Her love is like the ocean...

This is my UU, social justice, civil action child. This is the child who drew the line with her peers over the n-word. This is the child who has volunteered to mentor special needs kids or served in student government or both for three of the four years she’s been attending her current school. This is the child whose teacher has made it a point to contact me no less than three times so far this school year to express his gratitude to and  praise the way Halle had befriended a new ESL student, which makes me wonder that my daughter’s unreserved offer of friendship is already rare by the age of 10. This is the child who took the initiative, unsolicited, and went to a Spanish-speaking teacher to get a “cheat sheet” of basic conversational phrases, and carried two spanish english dictionaries with her every day for the first two months of school.

“Now think carefully about what I’m saying, and why it matters. Here was a woman who no longer could recognize her own children; a woman who had no idea who her husband had been; no clue where she was, what her name was, what year it was; and yet, knew what she had been taught at a very early age to call black people. Once she was no longer capable of resisting this demon, tucked away like a ticking time bomb in the far corners of her mind, it would reassert itself and explode with a vengeance. She could not remember how to feed herself. She could not go to the bathroom by herself. She could not recognize a glass of water for what it was. But she could recognize a nigger. America had seen to that, and no disease would strip her of that memory. Indeed, it would be one of the last words I would hear her say, before finally she stopped talking at all. “ ~Tim Wise, White Like Me

This is the depth of our racist conditioning.

When one refers to an immigrant as an “illegal alien,” they are using the term as a noun. They are effectively saying that the individual, as opposed to any actions that the individual has taken, is illegal. The term “illegal alien” implies that a person’s existence is criminal. I’m not aware of any other circumstance in our common vernacular where a crime is considered to render the individual – as opposed to the individual’s actions – as being illegal. We don’t even refer to our most dangerous and vile criminals as being “illegal.”

So my good friend Becky, a fellow blogger, mom of three multiracial kids, a boy followed by two girls… she is often within a page or two of wherever I am on parenting, politics, spirituality, and life in general. She recently designated Sunday as a Day of Gratitude, and extended an invitation for others to join her in blogging their grats.

I really want to join her in this. I know that what we focus our energy on grows. But even though I know that, I’m struggling to keep my focus on my blessings and joys.

I’m in a situation that I’m not ready to talk about other than to say that it is just not good.  And it’s spilling over into every area of my life. I literally feel smothered… like I am drowning in it. I’m always exhausted, but I don’t sleep well… I wake up with an aching jaw in the middle of the night because I’ve been clenching it in my sleep. I’m impatient with the kids, I’m distracted at work, and most likely just bitchy and unpleasant to be around in general.

So maybe I should just start with something really small and work my way up.

I’m glad that not-summer has finally arrived in Arizona. And I’m only a little bitter that it took until mid November to arrive.

Gratitude Sunday « Golden Acorn Homeschool.

The news story I am printing below was in the Denver Post today. The young man is a good friend of my kids. He is also biracial- half black and half white. I was shocked when I read the story, but was sickened as I read the comments. His race was on trial. I know this young man and if these commentors knew who they were talking about, it might change some of what they said…

Racial profiling at Denver Safeway store alleged

By Felisa Cardona
The Denver Post

An African-American teen accused of stealing who was detained and searched by employees at Safeway was a victim of racial profiling, according to an investigation by Denver’s Anti-Discrimination Office.

The agency’s Nov. 5 finding of discrimination says “there is reasonable cause to believe that this is not an isolated incident but rather a pattern or practice of engaging in such racial profiling.”

Brandon Anderson-Thayer, now 18, filed a complaint against Safeway alleging discrimination, and the agency’s finding allows him to proceed with a civil lawsuit, said his attorney, Mari Newman.

“We’ve given Safeway every opportunity to try and figure out whether there is a way to resolve this case and to try to be a good community member, and they have just resisted all the way,” she said.

Safeway contends there is no evidence to support the allegations.

“Our company has a long-standing reputation for fair and unbiased dealings with customers, employees and the communities that we serve,” said Safeway spokeswoman Kris Staaf. “The DADO’s probable-cause determination in this case resulted from an inadvertent failure of the company to respond to a DADO administrative request and is not a finding on the merits.

“Safeway is committed to continuing to defend against the claims made here, as well as continuing our efforts to resolve this matter with the DADO.”

On Oct. 14, 2008, Anderson-Thayer, then 17, went to the Safeway at 1653 S. Colorado Blvd. to buy some snacks after school.

He was with two friends, Hassan Robinson, who is also black, and Joe Vilante, who is Pacific Islander.

Anderson-Thayer was handcuffed by security as he bought some hot chocolate from schoolmate Jessica Molendyk, who was working at a breast-cancer awareness stand to raise money.

“The manager’s only stated reasons for accusing Mr. Anderson-Thayer and his friends of theft were the fact that Mr. Anderson-Thayer and his friends apparently ‘looked suspicious’ and that the manager had problems with ‘kids like them’ in the past,” said a report by Lucía Guzmán, executive director of Human Rights and Community Relations, which oversees DADO.

Molendyk told DADO that Safeway head clerk Brandon Nance directed security guards to follow black teens in the store for no apparent reason and that she often observed Nance making racist jokes.

The teens were not carrying any backpacks that would help them conceal items and they paid for the snacks they had, the report said. For a half-hour, the teens were held in an upstairs office and searched and interrogated, the report said.

“By targeting Mr. Anderson-Thayer and his friends for discriminatory surveillance, search and seizure, Safeway denied the teenagers ‘full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services facilities, privileges, advantages and accommodations’ of Safeway,” wrote Guzmán.

DADO does not issue fines or sanctions against a business when there is a finding of discrimination.

The goal of the agency is to bring the parties together to come to a settlement or a resolution. If it can’t be worked out, legal action may be pursued by the person who filed the complaint, Guzmán said.

The finding said that Anderson-Thayer’s testimony is “credible” and that the affidavits filed by his two friends and Molendyk corroborate his statements.

Representatives from Safeway met twice with DADO and Anderson-Thayer for mediation but no significant progress was made, the report said.

When Safeway’s attorney was contacted for a third meeting, the company did not respond.

However, Safeway is still trying to resolve the case and is expected to continue to provide information to the agency even though deadlines were missed.

Guzmán said the discrimination finding does not mean a solution can’t be worked out.

“Our major work is the hope that resolution occurs,” she said, “and we will always stand ready to help facilitate positive resolutions.”

COMMENTS ON THE NEWSPAPERS WEBSITE-

There has to be more to this story, it just doesn’t jive as written. And look at the picture of the kid…he looks white!

The fact that they didn’t catch him means they are bad at their jobs. You can’t detain people and put people in handcuffs when they haven’t stolen anything. This kid is playing victim and looking for a quick payday and the Post looks like they are going to help him.

Good for Safeway. This defense for breaking the law is perposterous. I’m going to start shopping at Safeway as long as they keep racially profiling

This has nothing to do with the kid’s rights or profiling. It’s all about money. If Safeway had given the kid a nice settlement to go away, we’d be hearing nothing about racial profiling “blah, blah, blah…” and he’d be over at the Best Buy picking out a new iPod and Stereo Speakers for his car like any teen would.

It’s the old “Jessie Jackson (Operation Push) shake down” Works every time.

im saying is that if the guy in that photo claims he was racially profiled because he is black…well then he has no case because he isnt black.

that kid is white as white gets! Let me guess, he probably listens to rap and has saggy pants, so he calls himself black…uh…sorry, African American. If he is from South Africa I’ll give him this one!

i`m looking into my crystal ball…i see it ..still fuzzy.. i see an..escalade in someones future!

And Brandon’s mother must have read this all and responded-

I am Brandon’s mom. He did not steal (nor has he ever stolen) and the actual stated reason, according to witnesses, why they were followed was because the security (a private firm, not DPD) had been instructed to follow all African-Americans. They were followed from the time they entered the store. He was handcuffed (in front of a friend no less-humiliating) and held for at least a half hour. He was a minor and I was never notified. If that happened to your child, would you just let it go? The stress sent him into an epileptic seizure when he got home (a pre-existing condition). Brandon and his friends have shopped there since all of their lives; it is our “neighborhood” store.

How should they have behaved? They were dressed like most men under 30, they had no backpacks and they paid for everything…. and they were still in the store, buying hot chocolate from a Breast Cancer Awareness fundraiser, hardly a action buy someone trying to hide something.

To clarify a few points, he chooses how he wants to be identified, as an African-American. We took this to the city because we want the store to change their policy and become more sensitive in how they treat the community. We took it public because the community needs to understand that, even though it is 2009, these things still happen on a regular basis. Most of what we were asking for was that they make amends and form relationships with the African-American community and the school that the kids attend (which is predominately minority and where the kids often come to shop). No Escalade for this family.

Unless you are a minority in this city, you are probably not aware of how young minority males are profiled on a regular basis. I see this happening in the community all of time. This was not the first time for Brandon or his friends to be profiled for “walking while black” and for these young people, it forces them into a position of always having to be on the defense. We are here to say, ” ENOUGH”!

via I am the Glue: Racial Profiling.

The thing is, I knew when I was writing the e-mail that I was taking a risk. I talk to white people about being “kicked out of the club.” It’s the moment that they realize that speaking up about race or racism distances them from other white people. It’s when they find out that other white people won’t necessarily support them when they raise issues of racism. I have tried to be empathic with them as they struggle with the perceived loss they suffer when doing what’s right means being ostracized.

I remember when I started getting really passionate about white priviledge and institutional racism. I crossposted something on my blog that spoke to some feelings I’d been having that I hadn’t yet written about.

My friend emailed me privately… asking did I realize what I had done? Was I prepared for the fallout that was sure to follow?

And I replied no.  Not MY friends. But I was wrong. It’s the first time I was wrong, but unfortunately it wasn’t the last.

Thankfully, as the years have gone by, I’m not as wrong about as many people. The wall doesn’t come down the first time you hit it. Sometimes, it takes a while.

via So now I know. « Resist racism.

I need to find the charger for the digital camera so I can get a better video, but this is how we refresh our Doodles (check out the curly hair page for more pics & details) in the mornings.

Leaving a comment is like walking up to a new friend in the playground and introducing yourself. It is how we make friends in the blogosphere. 

Tee hee… another fun meme. I’m not sure how often I’ll do this, since it’s pretty much the same handful of people who comment, but maybe this will encourage more of my regular readers to do the same.

My first shout out: Becky, who blogs at Golden Acorn Homeschool and is one of the coolest and craftiest moms I know, and who is about to move back to this side of the Rio Grande. I can’t wait!  She homeschools, gardens, cooks, blogs, and about fifty-eleven other things I wish I did, and she’s a full time student.

My second shout out: John (or at least that’s what I call him in my head) who blogs at UglyBlackJohn. His blogs require more brainpower than I have left at the end of most days, but whose comments and perspective I always appreciate.

And my third shout out, a new friend & reader, Jennifer, who blogs at Living My Life with Purpose. We’re a lot different with a lot in common and I appreciate her attitude of gratitude… it’s like a lil virtual sunshine every day.

I have been meaning to ask a dear friend to crosspost as a guest blogger for some time, and the only good thing about the Reebok ads is, they provided a golden opportunity I couldn’t pass up. So, uh… thanks Reebok. Sorta.

I have always preferred Nike running shoes and athletic gear, but I have owned a few things from Reebok in the past, such as swimsuits and a few outfits and pieces of clothing. Not anymore!

As of yesterday, Reebok will no longer be getting any of my family’s hard earned dollars. Here’s why:

and this:

and the worse one yet:

I am so disgusted, I can barely string a coherent sentence together. Why (someone PLEASE tell me why), a commercial for athletic shoes needs to be sexualized like that?

Why is it OK for Reebok to tell my daughters that the “real” reason for exercising is so a man can appreciate their assets?

Why is it OK for my son to absorb the message that he should ogle women and only value them for physical appearance?

I have no problem with a shoe that helps tone the butt and thighs. That’s a good thing, really, and with a smart marketing campaign I might have been interested in these shoes.

I am definitely not interested in contributing to the misogynistic view that women are nothing more than bodies to be objectified, and that the only reason to be fit is to be sexually appealing to a man. What about good health? What about strength? What about endurance, self-esteem, and pride?

So, Reebok, you have decidedly FAILED in my estimation. I am sure there are many men who appreciate these “commercials” you have created. I’d be willing to bet there are plenty of women who see “nothing wrong” with wanting to look sexy so men will notice them.

I want to look attractive for my husband, too, but for more than my body! I hope he is attracted to my intelligence, my humor, my personality…as well as my physical appearance.

The real problem with these ads is that they feed into an already warped sense of value in America. Media images such as these lodge themselves in the minds of young children (and adults), and continue to perpetuate the dysfunctional idea of women as mere sexual objects. Girls begin to believe the message and their self-esteem becomes wrapped up in how sexually appealing they can be. Boys continue to embrace the message because it lets them off the hook in regard to their behavior and having to respect women as equals.

These might seem like “just commercials” to many viewers. But what does it say to us, as a society, if it can be so blatant, and yet we sit around asking, “What’s the big deal?”

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Matthew 6:22-23

Many thanks to Cyndi for alerting me to these “ads.”

via Not MY daughters, Reebok! « Golden Acorn Homeschool.