OK, I’m busily transferring more of those blog archives from other locations, and have been focusing on some from about two and a half years ago, when my oldest hit a dark, scary, and unfortunately, very common place for kids who are exceptional learners: anxiety, depression, and thougths of suicide.
Here’s the link to the ADHD/Gifted archives:
Well, I haven’t blogged about it much, but I have become a prisoner of Tyler’s homework. He is having a really tough year. In preparation for middle school, the 5th grade students have reading, writing, and math with their homeroom teacher, and have block scheduling for social studies and science, each with different fourth grade teachers. On top of that transition, Tyler goes to the gifted teacher for reading and math. So his day looks like this:
Homeroom
PE, Art, or Music
Homeroom
Reading
Social Studies/Science
Homeroom
Math
Homeroom
So Tyler deals with three to four teachers on a daily basis, and has classroom changes almost every period. That’s a lot of transition, and he has a really hard time getting back into a calm and focused state. He gets very little done in school, and he spends most of every evening a) doing work he didn’t do in class or b) on punishment for not bringing home work he knows he didn’t do.
Dear Mr. Exterminator,
Please do not destroy me and my home. If you don’t, I’ll continue to help you out with your bedbug problem.
I know I’m nasty, but that’s just the way I am… forever.
Sincerely,
Cockroach
Apparently, cockroaches eat bedbugs. Who knew? And Tyler shares with me that they can live without their heads for three weeks, go without food for a month, and hold their breath for 45 minutes.
Gotta love public education.
Are you cooking chicken or meatballs?
Chicken.
Chocolate chip cookies goes with chicken.
Really?
Yes.
Huh. I was thinking that macaroni & cheese and salad goes with chicken.
Ohhhh, yes… macaroni cheese and salad goes with chicken… I was going to talk about that.
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I think we have some balance again Current mood:  lethargicCategory: Life
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, here and in your emails. There is so much going on all at once that I feel dizzy. And tired. Friday night I spoke with Tyler about what is leading up to his feelings, which was a terribly scary thing for me. Kenneth’s name came up often, as did a couple others I’ve heard before. Tyler is also troubled about his friendship with Allie, which seems to have hit the rocks. I asked Tyler specific questions about his feelings, and he indicated that he thinks the other kids would stop acting the way they do if he were to kill himself. I asked him if he just wanted to teach them a lesson, or if he really did not want to live, and he said that he wants them to learn a lesson, but he also does not want to live the way he’s been living. I asked too, if he feels like he wants to kill himself when he’s in trouble at home or if he feels like we (his family) also need a lesson… he said no, and that I already knew everything I needed to know. I can’t even begin to tell you the weight that lifted off me… because the night before I was in the bubble bath, crying to Ro on the phone that I feel like all I do is yell at him or tell him what he’s doing wrong, and it’s my fault he’s so unhappy. After that conversation, I felt a little less like having a nervous breakdown. As far as I can tell right now, these feelings are primarily stemming from his peer relationships at school… although I’m sure that the negative feedback he gets at home doesn’t help a ton, nor does Ro’s continued mentality that Tyler’s behavior is chosen. He’s still in the mindset that Tyler is smart enough that he could behave ”if he wanted to.” LaTona also asked about the possibility of a connection between the ADHD and the meds. I think there is as much a correlation to the time of year than whether he’s on medication. Another thing I have to take into consideration is that this isn’t the first time Tyler has expressed the idea of killing himself. He was having some kind of argument with a tablemate in Kinder, and announced that he was going to go home and kill himself with a knife. That was long before he was diagnosed ADHD or started Adderall, probably two years before Adderall, but if I remember right, it was during the ‘winter’ months. From what Tyler told me tonight, the instance he relayed to Theresa happened between winter and spring break, and is the only time he can remember feeling so bad he wanted to die. I do know that during the first part of second grade, he was expressing feelings of worthlessness so often that I was very concerned about something like this being on the horizon. I am considering alternatives, but I’m worried if I take him off meds completely and he goes back to being unable to function in the classroom. Not only will he still have the peer trouble, but he’ll also start having feelings of stupidity and worthlessness on top of that… and (re)develop a troublemaker reputation to boot, at this school where he has had a reputation of being a smart, focused, dedicated student. Not to mention, I think he would adamently be opposed to being taken of meds. He was resistant to trying Strattera, until he realized he would continue taking the Adderall during the trial.
Tyler and I met with a therapist on Saturday, have I mentioned that? Most of the session was me giving historical information. I liked the therapist, and I feel she understands ADHD better than the first therapist we tried (the one who told me Tyler needed more consistency) or even the therapist who referred me to my current psychiatrist. Mamta works with a psychiatrist she really likes, and wants Tyler to see him as well. Balbir and Tyler kept each other occupied while I was in with Mamta, and they liked each other. Mamta assured me that she has a 100uccess rate… I assume that means she hasn’t had a patient commit suicide. Mebbe I should clarify that point. Anyway, she spoke with Tyler about coming back to see her, and then pulled me aside. She indicated that it appeared he would be very receptive to counseling, and she was really looking forward to working with him. His next appointment, is next Tuesday. Oh, and last Friday I went to my onsite employee relations representative… Whatever I need to do as far as therapy or doctor appointments for Tyler are covered under FMLA, I just have to have some paperwork completed. Apparently, I can even take leave if he needs me to be with him on a 24-7 basis. As tempting as it was to grab that opportunity, I think that would be more for my benefit than his. He just needs normal right now… whatever normal is.
I emailed LaTonya today… some of you know her as the subject of my abject hero worship. She was Tyler’s 2nd grade teacher, and I kid you not that she is what kept me from having a nervous breakdown from the time school started in August, till Tyler’s ADHD was diagnosed in late November. She and I have kept in touch and I consider her a dear friend, an ally, and invaluable source of support… she also happens to be Halle’s Big Sister through BB/BS. She was also diagnosed ADHD as a child, which gave her a feel for Tyler that I can hardly describe. She, like many others, have expressed disbelief that Tyler would contemplate suicide. But she said in her email, even as she typed, she vividly remembered entertaining thoughts of dying as a child, because she was ALWAYS in trouble. Like me, she never planned to actually go through with it, and hadn’t really thought of those feelings in years. I was also always in trouble, and struggled terribly with peer relationships. I entertained suicidal thoughts in vivid detail and at times concocted elaborate suicide plans, and it’s hard for me to say how I really felt then… but in hindsight, I would say I did not plan to ever actually carry any of them out. Which is the thin thread by which I’m holding onto sanity knowing Tyler is having these thoughts… is that I continued to live, and had also pushed those suicidal thoughts into the back of my mind, so it’s reasonable to expect that he will too, since he’s certainly going to have more support than I did.
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Belle
Belle Godfrey
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I think we have some balance again – CURLYGURL’s MySpace Blog | Cyndi–s Jewels Shared via AddThis
Thursday we had the follow up appointment with Dr. Kessler’s PNP, Theresa Rimer. Dr. Kessler is the director of St Joe’s (not luke’s) AZ Child Study Center, who was on the panel that rewrote the AAP criteria for diagnosing ADHD in children, but you probably know that from the blog link. Sorry, I’m still a little in awe that we see this guy. After we got the referral in 1/2005 when I was worried, we also scaled back on his meds. Things had been better, but in October I noticed some changes in his behavior (socially) that I thought coincided with the last school change, and in November, a spike in other behaviors that coincided with a trial of strattera and Joel announcing that he and Sandy were having ‘baby surprise.’ Read more…
ARTICLE: Growing Up Gifted with AD/HD – CURLYGURL’s MySpace Blog | Cyndi–s Jewels
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ARTICLE: Growing Up Gifted with AD/HD
Category: Life I’m twelve years old and for as long as I can remember, I’ve had opposite sides to myself. I’m told that I’m “gifted” — very smart and creative. But I also have to work really, really hard at things that seem much easier for other kids, like memorizing and paying attention. Here’s an example: In math and science and in art, I’m quicker at figuring things out than other kids. Like when my teacher tells us a new way to subtract fractions, it seems obvious to me and not to other kids. But when I’m trying to listen to someone talking or lecturing, my mind starts to wander. |
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This is a personal narrative from my son, describing his ADHD.
March 6, 2006 – Monday 10:35 PM
| My name is Wild Child and I am nine years old. I go to [ABC School]. I am in 4th grade and I am in Mr. Homeroom’s classroom and I have Mrs. Gifted for reading. I am gifted and I have ADHD. My ADHD makes it really hard for me to remember things and pay attention. It also makes it hard for me to sit still. I take medicine for my ADHD. When I take my medicine, I feel like regular me, but kinda tired and not so excited. When I don’t take my medicine, I feel really excited about everything, and I feel jumpy and I want to move a lot and stuff like that. I like taking my medicine. I feel like I’m getting a whole lot better grades than I did when I was in second grade and I didn’t know I had ADHD; it helps me sit still in class and pay attention a little better. Sometimes when my teacher is giving directions, I look at him while he’s talking but then my eyes start drifting off to something else and then my brain starts thinking about that thing. One day while we were talking about math, Mr. Homeroom was teaching us about the problems for that day, and I looked at one of the math problems, a multiplication problem, and I started staring. Then my brain started reading the numbers backwards and thinking of different multiplication problems and I wasn’t paying attention anymore. I didn’t figure out the answer, so when Mr. Homeroom called me I didn’t know the answer. After that Mr. Homeroom told me to go back to the thinking table. I think I was in trouble for not paying attention. Read more… |
I’m up half the night at home researching for this and then at work I’m furtively printing documentation like mad in between tasks… I’m so behind in everything… work, housework, friends… ya know… life.
Aside from my ‘independant research’ I made a few phone calls that kinda bolstered my confidence. On Monday I spent nearly 45 minutes with the director of gifted services at the AZ Dept of Ed, and yesterday I about 30 minutes on the phone with a staff attorney from the US Dept of Ed’s Office of Civil Rights… I’ll have to post details of those conversations this weekend.
I finally confirmed the date of the next CST (child study team)/504 Accommodations meeting on Tuesday, 3/8. Tyler’s teacher, the school’s gifted teacher, the school’s SpEd coordinator, and the District’s 504 coordinator will all be in attendance… not sure about the school Psychologist. I called to follow up with Ms. SpEd, and discovered she’d forgotten all about him (eyes roll outta my head). That was the weightier of the reasons we decided to continue the meeting, so that he could attend. She’s sweet and seems well intentioned, but either she’s overworked or she’s on the ditzy side.
So my task between now and then is to sort through the two or three reams of paper I’m hefting around with me everywhere I go, and figure out how much of it I want to carry into this meeting. I have about twice as much paperwork as I had when I went to the last meeting. Mr. Teacher made a wow comment, and Ms. SpEd looked a little freaked out when I plopped that bulging 2 in binder on the conference table. I also need to get some records from Tyler’s initial diagnosis/comments from that psychologist. I’m trying to get some records out of the old school district and I am so hot with them right now… they only have scores for Tyler’s 2nd grade SAT-9’s. No SAT-9 scores for 3rd grade, and no AIMS scores. For those of you in AZ… you know the AIMS. IT’S FREAKING REQUIRED FOR A CHILD TO PASS IT TO GRADUATE FROM 3RD, 8TH, AND 12TH GRADES and they have no record of it.
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With Tyler’s report card, I also got a letter from the school requesting my permission to formally evaluate him for gifted services. Can’t remember if I posted about this at the time, but one of my reservations about sending the kids to this other district is that their guidelines for gifted services are exactly as mandated by state law… a score on an approved test of 97th percentile or higher. Our home district, because of the socioeconomic factors and high ESL (english as a second language) population, offered gifted services to students with lower scores, but I can’t remember what exactly the cut off was. This isn’t a problem for Halle, she scored ”98 plus” on the Raven’s, but Tyler’s highest scores were 95th & 96th e (on the WISC III), he is below the cut off for gifted services in the Kyrene district. Of further concern to me, is that Kyrene’s initial screening test is the CoGat,which both the kids have taken and neither did particularly well on. Many of these ‘IQ’ tests are commonly known in academic communities to be racially, culturally, and economically biased. White suburban kids tend to do quite well on them… and so do white midwestern kids where these tests are normed. Brown inner city kids, not so much. And I guess it goes without saying that the CoGat isn’t the test of choice for children with learning disabilities of any kind, including ADHD. I spoke with someone in gifted services at the district, as well as with the gifted teacher at the school, before I enrolled them and was comfortable with the discussion, and it was agreed by all that we’d address whether Tyler needed the gifted curriculum after we saw how he did on the intake evaluations and in the regular classroom, since it’s more academically advanced than the one he was coming from. He was placed in the gifted reading class as a guest student the first day after his initial reading evaluation showed he was reading at an 8th grade level, and he was placed in the highest math track in his regular classroom (he missed an entire quarter on division while he was at the f-ing charter school reviewing 2 and 3 digit addition ).
So I gave permission for him to be formally evaluated, but had some reservations because I anticipated he would be given the CoGat. Next night I find out that Tyler is being tested in a group setting, and had not asked for a study corral, which is one of this 504 accomodations. Now, Tyler is the first ADHD/504 student his gifted teacher has had, so I figure it’s an oversight. I get in touch with her to express my concerns and there’s a flurry at the school because apparently, Roosevelt didn’t include his 504 when they forwarded his records. I should have known. However, Lisa indicates that Tyler’s verbal comprehension score (95th e) on the WISC, coupled with the fact that he does have a condition that impacts his performance on standardized tests, may be sufficient to formally qualify him for gifted services in reading, but they will need to qualify him with another test in order for him to go into the gifted math class. So we tentatively scheduled the testing to reconvene after Tyler’s teacher, the special resource teacher who handles special ed (aka SPED), and myself meet and develop a new 504. Because the 504 I had to go to the RSD office to get is expired anyway (they have to be redone each year). In the meantime, I’m told by Tyler’s teacher that Tyler is not allowed to have accomodations during a gifted evaluation, per the SPED teacher, per somone at KSD.
You can imagine my response. I’ve read Section 504, thank you very much, and my understanding is this… congress guarantees my son reasonable accomodations because he has a disability that impacts his learning, and to deny him those accomodations would be considered discrimination against a student protected by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. So basically, someone is telling me that Kyrene’s standard policy for access to gifted services discriminates against students with disabilities.
I don’t think that’s actually the intention… gifted students are a small percentage of the student population, as is the percentage of students who qualify for 504 plans. The percentage of ‘twice exceptional’ students like Tyler, who are both gifted and learning disabled, is even smaller. It seems that Tyler may be the first 2E student any of the staff I’ve dealt with thus far have ever encountered. And everyone truly seems to have the best of intentions where Tyler is concerned, so thankfully I’ve been able to approach this in a positive and collaborative manner.
So we had the 504 meeting, and really expanded on what had been there before to address some issues I see starting to crop up (there’s a lot more writing this year, which wasn’t an issue last year) and I was really happy with the classroom and homework accomodations we came up with, some suggested by Tyler’s regular classroom teacher & the SpEd coordinator, which I wouldn’t even have asked for. I’ll share more of that when it’s final though. We decided that we’d really need to meet again to finalize it since we were an hour into the meeting on a Friday afternoon, and Ms. Sped asked if I had any other questions. I asked Mr. 4th Grade about Tyler’s math performance. I wanted to know if he felt Tyler needed the additional challenge of the gifted math curriculum, or was he just keeping up where he was. He indicated that when he breaks the kids up into skill groups in his classroom, he groups Tyler with the kids who are in the gifted math class and that he felt Tyler could definitely handle it.
So then I dive into the whole ‘accomodations’ thing and explain that not only for Tyler, but for the ‘greater good’ I want clarification on the district policy as it was explained to me… to the point that I want to know what this policy is based on. I explain my understanding of 504, and that based on my understanding, their policy violates federal law… and if that’s not the case, and there is some obscure law I don’t know about that says disabled students are not entitled to protection under 504 for gifted services (which I can’t imagine, since gifted services fall under special ed in AZ), then I want to know chapter and verse what that law is and where I can find it.
We’ll be having a Child Study Team meeting to finalize the 504 plan. Ms. Sped was very candid that my points were certainly valid,but unfortunately beyond her expertise. She volunteered to make sure that both the School Psychologist and the District’s Director of SpEd are in attendance at our next meeting so that they can address the issue in detail.
originally posted Tyler’s 504 (long one)…. – CURLYGURL’s MySpace Blog | Cyndi–s Jewels
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