Home > Family Life, parenting > Zion Esmat Faustino Roro-Whitmore

Zion Esmat Faustino Roro-Whitmore

I didn’t even know what else to put in the subject line. Thank you all for your prayers, good wishes, and positive vibes. I know we were all asking for a healthy baby, and hopefully those wishes will carry his spirit safely back
to Her arms instead.

I knew yesterday at the ultrasound that the baby was gone, but of course there was that tiny hope that I was wrong. I’ve had half a dozen ultrasounds and despite all the people who cautioned me that they can be tricky, when
there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there. I have experienced a “missed
abortion”. The baby stopped developing at least 3/4 weeks ago, from the size of my uterus. My HCG levels are that of a woman who is only 3-4 weeks
pregnant. The baby was reabsorbed by my body, but the placenta is still present and producing pregnancy hormones. I’ll be having a D&C this afternoon to remove the placenta and whatever else is left. Because the baby is already gone, they will not be able to tell me what went wrong, although I know that something probably went seriously wrong with development and this is just nature’s way of preventing a pregnancy that would have terminated eventually, or resulted in a child with severe disabilities, something that neither Roro, myself, or our living children are currently prepared to deal with. They also will not be able to tell me if it was a boy or a girl, and I don’t know where this is coming from, but I know it was a boy.

His name is Zion. I am deeply sad that we won’t have another baby at this time, but am also greatly comforted that Zion wasn’t really lost. Because he
was reabsorbed into my body, part of him will always be with me. I plan to go to the gardens and sing him home sometime this weekend.

I am also saddened that Roro is so far away and will not be able to be with me
at this time. He is en route from Spain to England, as far as I know, and when I spoke to him early yesterday morning he said he would call tomorrow, but of course I wish I could speak to him today. I haven’t been successful in
reaching him via phone yet, but will try sending an email to his brother’s
addy if I can’t get through.

This procedure is a fairly simple one and will be done as an outpatient procedure, and I’ll be returning home this evening and should be able to
resume all physical activities with a day or two of rest, but will probably
experience some post-partum type depression due to drops in hormone
levels and dealing with the loss. For those of you who have my number at home, you are certainly welcome to call but I hope you will understand that
depending on how I feel at that precise moment, you may wind up with my machine instead of me. I will also probably not be responding to instant messages online.

Thanks again to all of you for your love and support.

We are of one kindred with the stars. Their deaths in supernovas spread into the universe those elements which give us life. Their energy in life gives us warmth and light to live by. Never forget that the Cosmos gave you birth and that you are always Her child. From the microcosmic to the macrocosmic, we are all one.
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