Ei’s Version: A Visit to Cyndi’s by the numbers…
Ei’s summary of our Girls’ Weekend tickled me so much I felt compelled to repost.
..> A Visit to Cyndi’s by the numbers…
I’ve been trying to find a really nice way to sum up my long awaited visit to Cyndi’s house. Despite having a cold and feeling a little run-down, it was one of the best vacations I’ve taken in a long time – thanks to my gracious hostess. So the trip started, as most do, in transit, in this case, on a plane seated next to a very tall nervous man who had a little breath spray atomizer in his pocket. I know this because he liked to use it, quite a lot. In fact, after he’d used it three times in the first five minutes I was on the plane, I decided to keep track of the number of times he used it, for my own entertainment. Thus, this is how I will begin.
Number of times my seatmate used his breath spray in a two and a half hour flight: 27
Number of times I wondered if it is possible to get a contact high from breath spray: 3
Number of times I called Cyndi between the time I got off the plane and met her in the arrivals lane: 3
Number of times Cyndi and I hugged in the arrivals lane: 1
Number of minutes that hug lasted: About four, I think
Number of times Starbucks was mentioned in the first fifteen minutes of face to face conversation with Cyndi: 3
Number of seconds it took to decide upon real Mexican food for lunch: ZERO
Number of kids at Cyndi’s house who seemed genuinely glad to see me: 2
Number of diva girls who snubbed me at my arrival: 1
Number of trips to Target in my first day at Cyndi’s: 1
Number of dollars spent by Cyndi when at Target to buy film and batteries: It wouldn’t be polite to tell, but I will say that I’m out of contention as her sponsor in the Target 12-step program.
Number of ice cream catastrophes on the way up the mountain: 1.5
Number of little girls covered in ice cream who needed rescued from crazy Mountain bees: 2
Number of diva girls who decided I’m ok after being rescued from the bees: 1
Number of pictures Cyndi took before she realized her film hadn’t loaded correctly: I’m guessing about 15
Number of stops at Scorpion Gulch: 2
Number of times we debated the benefit of “pretty horses” versus “not-so pretty horse smells”:1
Number of times Roro lectured Cyndi on not over stimulating the guest: 1
Number of times Cyn had to explain that tossing salad is not as literal as it might seem: 1
Number of times Cyn was glad her lettuce knife is plastic: probably many, 1 time audibly
Number of glasses of wine at dinner the first night: 1 VERY LARGE ONE
Number of Oprah’s watched in Cyn’s bedroom: 3
Number of tears shed while watching Oprah: too many to count
Number of times I had to apologize for snoring because the guest over-extended herself: 3
Number of times we tried to call Karen while we were there: 3
Number of times we reached Karen: 0
Number of times Ei freaked out because she found out WHY Karen probably wasn’t there: 1
Number of visits to Starbucks during three day visit: 3
Number of times we circled the parking lot at the Mexican restaurant trying to figure out if it was closed for construction: 2
Number of cuties attending us at the restaurant: 2
Number of flirtations between us and the cuties: 47 or so
Number of crazy sexual conversations started during lunch with my darling friend Kristin: 3
Number of margaritas Cyndi didn’t finish, but accepted from the darling dreadlocked bartender: 2
Number of barricades we drove around to take VIP parking that wasn’t ours at Gammage: 1
Number of times we worried about getting a parking ticket or towed: .5
Number of Kleenexes we wished we had during RENT: 37
Number of times we looked for Debra during RENT: 2
Number of friends we have who had babies (including Debra) while I was visiting: 2
Number of times we educated elderly patrons on our very RENT-ness: 1
Number of inches on Arria’s heels: at least 4
Number of Reggae bars visited: 1
Number of dread locked future husband candidates identified by Arria in two hours: 4
Number of jokes made at the expense of Arria’s shoes: 6
Number of cranky men called to drive us home because Arria needed to find one more potential husband before leaving bar 1
Number of times someone thought Cyndi and I were sisters: 1
Number of times someone thought Cyndi and I were lesbian lovers: (ahem) 1
Number of times Daija placed her hands on her hips and looking at me and saying, “Did you just tell me NO?” – 1
Number of times all three kids asked me to come back next weekend with my boys: 7
Number of books consumed at the airport and in transit: 2
Number of Des Moines Menace soccer players accompanying me in my flight home: lost count at 15
Number of times Cyndi stuck her hands in my hair and ruffled me affectionately: 3
Number of times I wondered why we hadn’t done this sooner: 384
It was a good trip.
9:32 AM – 3 Comments – 6 Kudos – Add Comment
..> ..> Potere Infinito
ROTFL!!!!!!!!! Excellent, Ei!!!!! This was hysterical!! I”m glad SOMEBODY finally got around to some details! Now if only the one with the camera would post more pictuers…I KNOW there are more pictures, that woman is never without her camera…..
Posted by Potere Infinito on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 10:54 AM
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..> ..> The High Priestess
LOVED it – – Thank You!!!
So glad you guys had a good time!!!
And yes, Pictures would be nice!
Posted by The High Priestess on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 11:32 AM
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..> ..> curlykidz
I distinctly recall hugging you TWICE at the airport. Once behind the car before you put your bags in, and once on the sidewalk next to the car before you put your butt in. Other than that, I can’t argue with the numbers. BUT, in my defense… some of the $???.?? that I spent at Target was on new towels that I’d been planning to replace with this tax return and, given the condition of my old towels, were DESPERATELY needed for my long awaited guest who deserved pampering.
There are photos – Ei had a disposable camera since she forgot her digital… and I was using my old advantix camera since I seem to have broken our digital somehow. I just haven’t had time to take the film in for developing with everything else that’s happened in the last week. Hopefully, I’ll get them dropped off sometime this weekend.
Posted by curlykidz on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 11:02 PM
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