Home > Big Talks, parenting, raising boys > another conversation with the boy…

another conversation with the boy…

A few months ago I wrote a blog titled There’s Something About Mary, so if you missed that, you should check it out to see how totally cool my kid is.

So earlier this morning Tyler was cleaning his room, and I was adding one of those “three plugs in one” things to his outlet because he doesn’t have enough plugs by his desk and always seems to manage to unplug his alarm clock instead of his desk lamp.

And so he’s got the usual “stream of conciousness” coming out of his mouth, as it usually does once his eyes open, hopping from this topic and thought to that with an occasional pause here and there.  After one such pause, he starts to tell me something and stops, saying it’s too embarassing even to tell his mom.

Well.  I had no idea there was something on his mind before that, but now that I know it’s that deep, I’ve GOT to know what it is.

So I very gently encourage him to share.

And he tells me how Mary is the only person in his class who is *nice* to him.  Everyone isn’t mean to him, per se… but she’s the only person who is *really* nice.

Now, I know this is not exactly true, because Emily sits right next to him and I have a darn hard time picturing her being anything other than nice.

So he’s telling me how, last week when he left his lunch money sitting on the kitchen table right next to the snacks that he did manage to put in his bag, and he had to get a PB&J sandwich at school which he hates because they use that peanut butter that has chunks… Mary shared her salad with him.

Mary also wrote on the valentine hearts that all the kids had to write to each other, that Tyler has a nice singing voice… which is quite a compliment since Mary had a solo peice in the fifth grade program and is quite a little singer herself.

So Tyler is telling me how he doesn’t want anybody to know he likes Mary, except his seat mates who already know and whom he says he trusts.  I asked what he would think would happen if anyone else found out, and he said they would tease him forever… but no, just for the rest of the school year… hmmm, which really isn’t that long… because so and so thinks Mary is a goody-goody girl, and he’s not sure what that means but he knows it’s not a compliment.

Yes, well… don’t worry about that Tyler.  That’s just the kind of girl that Mommy likes.

And I wonder if he’s thinking maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get found out.

So I told him that most people aren’t just worried about what other people are going to think… they’re also afraid the object of their affection will find out.  I ask him what he thinks would happen if Mary knew he liked her, and that’s when I got blown away.

Tyler tells me that she already knows… he told her himself.


Oh, yeah… he told her when he first started liking her, which I knew was definitely prior to Christmas break… but apparently he knew he liked her the third day of school.  And the conversation went something like this…

Mary:     Who do you like?

Tyler:     You.

Mary:     ME?

Tyler:    YOU.

Mary:     ME?

Tyler:     Yes, YOU.

Tyler told me after this, she just looked “kind of odd.”  I told him, stunned was probably more like it.  I told him it was pretty cool that he told her how he felt himself… that most people aren’t brave enough to share their feelings with someone they like, even when they know for sure the other person likes them back.

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