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bopping your baloney

Geez, I’m getting a helluva eduation on new slang terms this week.

Now, I’ve been anticipating the early stages of puberty, with Tyler’s age and recent interest in girls.

So I noticed that just about every night this week Tyler has been volunteering to go to bed early.  He usually doesn’t get up after going to bed… but two or three nights last week he got up for a snack or drink… and was awake for an hour or two after volunteering to go to bed.


Thursday night, the second time he got up for some water, I snapped at him and told him to take his little butt back to bed… I’m not sure what it was he was doing in there (though I had some strong suspicions), but it sure wasn’t sleeping.

So I bit the bullet and got online and started doing some research on puberty and… masturbation.

Good LAWD… but was I nervous as hell when I typed that into the search engine… I was just positive I was going to have to search through a ton of nasty porn sites.  And I have to admit that I’m not nearly as comfortable with the idea of male masturbation as I am with female masturbation.  Male masturbation just seems so… dirty.  Not in a nasty way, but in a messy way.  I’m not looking forward to the “nocturnal emmision” phase. 

But according to research, that phase will be coming soon…

A 2004 survey by Toronto magazine NOW was answered by an unspecified number of thousands.[15] The results show that an overwhelming majority of the males — 81% — began masturbating between the ages of 10 and 15. Among females, the same figure was a more modest majority of 55%. (Note that surveys on sexual practices are prone to self-selection bias.) It is not uncommon however to begin much earlier, and this is more frequent among females: 18% had begun by the time they turned 10, and 6% already by the time they turned 6.

I figure that I better have a private conversation with Tyler, in detail, about what to expect before he masturbates to the point of ejaculation (which will probably be a while yet), after Ro gets back in town. Can you imagine how freaked out he would be? I mean, I “knew” I was going to grow breasts SOMEDAY… but I still remember when I was in 5th grade and first noticed that tender lump in what would later become a boob… I went to my mother on the verge of tears and told her that I thought I had cancer.

So I did a little research and found that there are actually sites for teens with articles and FAQs that discuss very candidly various methods and other stuff related to sexuality that kids would probably be reluctant to ask anyone about.

I also learned that group masturbation is very common for boys.  And some new slang terms for masturbation… like the one in the title.

Anyway… I’m in Tyler’s room this morning while he was cleaning, right? and I’m over on the one side of his bed rearranging cords on the desk underneath and I look up and peeking out from under Tyler’s pillow, I see…

The mystery of the early bedtime solved… my little boy is still just that… my little boy, sneaking toys into bed.

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