drinking sand
So the GA 2012 grid map has been released. I’ve waited a few days to write about it, wanting to let it marinate a bit, to get past my initial reaction, to really reflect on it. I’ll preface my comments by saying I know a lot of people put a lot of time, effort, thought, and heart into planning and negotiating and mapping out this grid.
I had a conversation with a member of my board shortly after the Charlotte GA, in which we discussed some of the work we as a faith still need to do, and I said, “There’s really a whole ‘nother GA that we need to have BEFORE we even think about having a Justice GA.”
This grid is really exactly what I had in mind for THAT General Assembly. So it’s not that I think this is a bad grid. Under different circumstances, I’d have been thrilled. My heart probably would have burst with pride. Because I know that I still need work myself, not to mention the number of people who are in the early stages or who haven’t even begun to dismantle their racial, ethnic, social, and class privilege.
But under these circumstances, I am disappointed on multiple levels.
I’m disappointed by all the vague references I’ve seen about our “Arizona Partners” over the last 15 months and even more disappointed to see the Arizona Worker Rights Center and No More Deaths listed with Puente and NDLON in today’s UU World article, Picture of GA 2012 coming into focus. I wonder what we consider a partnership. The Arizona Worker Rights Center organizers are only vaguely familiar with our General Assembly. The organizers weren’t even aware they are listed as a partner on the UUA website until I mentioned it in a conversation unrelated to GA two or three weeks ago. And while the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Tucson is the fiscal agent for No More Deaths, No More Deaths is a completely autonomous organization. There has been no consensus of it’s members to endorse this General Assembly. Yet we have these organizations and many others listed as partners and continually reference the partners that have invited us, describing how much they want us to come to Arizona… these same organizations that seem to be telling us now what we should have already known… that creating a justice tourism experience for us would be an overwhelming burden and a drain on what precious few resources they have.
And while no one who was involved in the drafting of the ransom note is thrilled, and some are downright pissed… while I’ll admit I choked back tears while reading it, part of me is relieved by it. Because for months I have felt like we were crawling through the desert towards a mirage called Justice GA, doubting we would find any water, afraid half of us would drink the sand and not know the difference, and the other half would drink the sand, saying… at least it’s something (virtual prize to anyone who gets that pop culture reference).
It seems like we’re finally going to be honest with ourselves.
I truly believe that we need to have this proposed GA. But I think we should have used GA2011 and/or our district assemblies for this work. I don’t think Arizona during a boycott is the place for it. To have a Justice GA that is primarily a vehicle for us to educate ourselves will be viewed by many as nothing more than breaking the boycott.
I still have more questions than answers; what answers there are, are still vague. Some kind of citizenship fair, school supplies drive, no real feedback about decentralizing the structure of service projects. I’m completely befuddled by the times we’re scheduled to witness. There’s not time immediately prior to either event to travel to another venue, and downtown Phoenix isn’t exactly a hotbed of nightlife or mecca of culture. What there is, is all sprawled out and not much happens in the area immediately surrounding the convention center during those hours, so I’m not sure who we’ll be witnessing to. I can only hope that the schedule is more tentative and subject to change than not.
So to answer a question I’ve been asked by several (funny how it works when you are really vocal about what you think BEFORE something gets planned, people tend to want to know what you think of the result)…
I don’t know. There is part of me that wants to hold the other end of Kat’s banner (which would tickle the Quaker to no end) and a part of me that wants to meet people where they are nudge them along with Carolina and Rob. Part of me is tired of waiting for folks to catch up and part of me can’t help but hope this could be the catalyst for us to become what we should have been all along.
a living faith
I have felt a gulf widening between myself and the Unitarian Universalist faith over the last year. I had expected activism to change me in profound ways; I just didn’t expect part of what drew me to this faith to eventually push me away. More and more often I ask myself, “What am I doing here? What am I representing? What represents me?”
We are a faith that is very proud of our commitment to social justice. We collect donations for charitable organizations and donate the proceeds of our collection plate once a month. We participate in legislative campaigns. We buy free trade goods in our sanctuaries or from artisans we invite into our space. We attend social action luncheons and serve in soup kitchens. We show up to march in parades in decent numbers, slightly less for vigils and protests, unless there is an opportunity for us to sing or some form of “alter call” from congregational leadership. But I rarely see UU’s when our partner groups request volunteers or hold fundraisers. We’ll invite people into our space, meet them in neutral spaces, but rarely will we meet them in theirs.
I recognize that there are exceptions… but the fact that these two communities have such a small percentage of overlap is one of my biggest frustrations. I wonder if listing an organization as a partner on our website and showing up at the occasional demonstration or community event in our matching t-shirts is all we’re capable of. Displays of solidarity, participating in visible resistance efforts is a big, and important, part of justice work. But investing enough of ourselves to build the personal relationships necessary for an allied partnership seems to be beyond us more often than not. There is a reluctance to put ourselves in spaces where we would be the minority in the room, and resistant to sacrificing any of our time or investing our emotional energy. We’re all so proud of the justice work being done, but so few of us want to do it.
I’ve spoken with other allied activists & organizers and many have experienced the same frustrations. I was talking with friend and UU seminarian and commented that I was committed to my congregation thru the end of this RE year. After that, I don’t know. Unless there is a substantial shift in culture, I just don’t know. Which was followed by a discussion of whether I thought this culture was unique to my congregation or the entire faith, and how change is slow but we’re making progress. She’s not the first person to give me some version of the “arc of the moral universe” talk. As much as I love the quote, as much comfort as I find in it when applied to the folks across the aisle, hearing it applied to my faith both frustrates and outrages me.
Rage and fury and impotence aren’t really the emotions I was searching and yearning for when I went looking for a religious home. And as much as I love many, many members of my church family, as inspiring as I find my minister in and out of the pulpit, there are just far too many times that I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship. “We’re making progress.” “Change is slow.” “They’re trying… they mean well.” It sounds just like that girl, we all know her (hell, I was her), “He really loves me. He didn’t mean it. He’ll change.”
And maybe if my family looked different, if my closest friends and the vast majority of my support system looked different… if my neighborhood looked different, I might be a little more inclined to be patient. But my daughter told me last night that a classmate said to her, “You’re a black girl. Why don’t you just smack so and so?”… and it’s not the first time that kind of comment has been made. Women I love have reached out after having being hurt by someone’s unintended slur or stereotype, their colorblind ignorance… hands and voices trembling with hurt and anger. They speak of fear that speaking out will be interpreted as or strengthen certain stereotypes… or that they are most angry with themselves for having let down the wall they usually maintain with white people and being hurt because they hadn’t been on guard, hadn’t seen it coming. I have friends who have been harassed by police because of their skin color and/or accents, who get the full force of the law for minor traffic violations while we get passes for more serious infractions.
If this wasn’t my world, maybe I’d be less cynical and more magnanimous. I don’t want to be the only radical in my congregation (and that I’m considered a radical by fellow UU’s still perplexes me). But maybe I’d be willing to stick it out and be part of the catalyst for change my friends talk about. Maybe the stagnant pace of progress wouldn’t feel corrosive to my soul.
But this is my world, so forgive me, but I don’t care about your (our) good intentions anymore. I care about the impact of our individual and collective inability to live our faith and principles in meaningful and intentional allied relationships and how that effects people struggling for human dignity. I care about the people we hurt, directly or indirectly, with our good intentions.
This wasn’t easy to write. and I know that it may hurt or offend fellow UU’s, particularly those I have a personal relationship with. But someone I love and respect asked me specifically to blog about this, and maybe she was right in that this is something that needs to be said, and heard.
Where are you on the Oppression Action Continuum? It’s not enough to educate yourself about an issue. If you are aware of an oppression and haven’t gotten involved, you are enabling that oppression. We can’t all do everything… but if we all did whatever we could instead of nothing at all, how amazing could we be? There is no small part of a justice movement; we all have our unique gifts, skills, and talents to offer even when our time or financial resources are limited.
I have found more personal fulfillment, been more deeply inspired, experienced more joy, felt more love, and seen more of God in the year I’ve been working with the activist community than I have in any church I’ve attended in all my thirty seven years.
If you haven’t invested of your self, what are you waiting for?
Oppression Action Continuum from Heeding the Call Justice Makers Curriculum
Related articles
- Memorandum: Justice General Assembly 2012 (draft) (curlykidz.wordpress.com)
- Open Letter to the GA Planning Committee (curlykidz.wordpress.com)
- Justice GA, #UU Accountability, and the #uualtoaz hash tag (curlykidz.wordpress.com)
- Friends and Allies (curlykidz.wordpress.com)
Justice GA, #UU Accountability, and the #uualtoaz hash tag
I was mentioned in a twitter comment over the weekend by a fellow UU I’ve long admired and respected, I think as part of a twitter chat that included a couple other UU’s that I have a great deal of respect for. But throughout that conversation was a hash tag that made me terribly uncomfortable.
#uualtoaz
I immediately made my reservations known, and my concerns were acknowledged… but as blurbs from that chat are retweeted and posted in other forums, I’m concerned that hash tag may have taken on a life of it’s own, as I saw it associated with twitter posts unrelated to the original chat when I was online this morning.
Folks outside Arizona may not be familiar with the Alto Arizona. Folks not familiar with the campaign may think it simply means Stop AZ in Spanish (which it does). But Alto Arizona is a campaign of PuenteAZ and NDLON, not the Unitarian Universalist Association. Alto Arizona is also a campaign for which the UUA is not listed as a partner organization. Alto Arizona is a campaign that, among other things, calls for a boycott of Arizona.
A boycott that we are violating at the invitation of some Arizona human rights groups and to the irritation of others. Read more…
Sunday Meditation: Go Barefoot
Spirit of my exploring heart, help me walk where deep-rooted questions rise through the firm hard ground, the pathway that has led to war and injustice for centuries. Bare-footed and trembling, let me feel the pain that inhumanity has tramped into the earth. Let me face the unknown, assured that all my questions are natural and blameless. Help me learn how to live peacefully when war and anger rage, how to do justice while greed consumes resources that could sustain us. Bruised and battered, let my feet feel holiness rise through the ground of my being. Let that holiness fill me with confidence, that I might find alternatives to the well-trod roads to destruction. Grant me the wisdom to do as Moses did on that sacred mountain, when he was told “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”
Shick, Stephen (2009). Be the Change: Poems, Prayers and Meditations
for Peacemakers and Justice Seekers
(Kindle Locations 388-394). Skinner House Books. Kindle Edition.
Friends and Allies
It has occurred to me that if I were to blog more often, I would probably spend so much less time staring at a blank page, wondering where to begin. I’d spend less time on background info and more time making my point. So, I mentioned attending a Language Exchange with members of the Worker Rights Center, and their Wage Theft Campaign. The part I kept saying I would mention later, was that I had offered to nominate the Center for my congregation’s Share the Plate program, as they’ve recently lost some funding. The feedback I got was that financial contributions were certainly welcome, but what they really wanted was opportunities for workers to share their personal stories with various faith groups as part of their Wage Theft Campaign. So I said, I’ll look into what kind of options there are to be a guest speaker for one of our lay led services, and since I figured UUCP’s sermons were probably scheduled pretty far out, I’ll ask if there’s any interest from our sister congregation. One thing led to another, and if things work as I’m hoping, the WRC will be sharing their stories as part of a “Labor Sunday” service at one of our sister congregations here in the Valley.
This isn’t a campaign I ever saw myself involved in, but I was really touched by the time I spent with WRC workers. It seemed like I could make a meaningful contribution, even if it was just knocking on doors until someone said yes. I’ve found myself volunteering to become more involved in the campaign and some other potential projects.
I’ve been thinking a great deal about my role as an ally. I’ve had to check myself a few times, ready to run full steam ahead with some fabulous idea (some of y’all know these as “Cyndi’s delusions of grandeur”), because this isn’t my party. I was invited to the party, then I volunteered to be a party planner, but the theme and the vision of the party are not mine. If I don’t keep that in mind, I am no longer an ally. So I stop and turn around, and ask for feedback and direction.
I was reading an article I came across at No More Deaths called Becoming An Ally. It’s a really good article overall, but I particularly like the How to section. I’ve crossed the borders of faith, culture, race, and language many times in one one one situations. I’ve crossed them as part of a multifaceted group in a supporting role, but never as an organizer. I’ve tried to keep these things in mind as I navigate my first effort at organizing an interfaith effort with racial, class, cultural, and language barriers.
Maybe it’s because this is so present in my mind right now, that I feel stung by comments from some of my fellow activists and members of my church family about the UniteAZ White Ribbon Campaign. These criticisms don’t seem to recognize the diverse theological and political views of our allied groups or their individual members.
I have friends who have worked tirelessly on the UniteAZ campaign and I have friends who feel it’s the wrong approach. I don’t see them often, but these are people who awe and inspire me with their passion and dedication. People who light up my heart every time I see them with the sheer force of their spirit, people that I can’t help but embrace when I see them. People I have prayed for, cried for, who have graced me with their support in my personal growth as an activist, their presence in my home, their gifts of serving as mentors and role models for my children and probably in many other ways I haven’t even begun to realize.
While the UUA at large and the Arizona congregations in particular have a special relationship with Puente, one in which we need to be accountable, we are also accountable to Somos America, Arizona Dream Act Coalition, National Council of La Raza… all of which have endorsed this campaign.
So when there is division among members of targeted communities, what is our role as allies?
The work that Puente does is critical, and I am a passionate supporter of their efforts. When push comes to shove, you will find me wherever the drums are nine times out of ten. That’s just me… in your face, ready to burn your eyelashes with the candle or slap you with a light bulb if that’s what it takes (but very gently, and with much love though… I promise).
But not everybody is comfortable in that role, and more importantly, there are people who will never be reached that way. I’ve seen people slow down and read the protest signs, seen looks of contemplation cross their faces, and I’ve prayed that they will seek out more information that will lead them, ultimately, to seek justice. But I’ve seen just as many people go out of their way to avoid coming close enough for direct eye contact. Those people might shove a flyer in their pocket, and look at it later…. and may also feel the call to justice.
I may not always agree with certain viewpoints or actions from individuals or groups, but I will always honor their path in this struggle. Who are we to say the effort of one targeted group is better than that of another in their fight for justice? We are still tripping over our own insecurities and inadequacies. It is not for us, as allies, to choose sides among our friends or tell our allies what kind of party to throw when half the time we can’t even figure out what we’re supposed to bring to the potluck.
Related articles
- Where is the justice? (curlykidz.wordpress.com)
- Recall Election Set For Arizona “Papers Please” Law Sponsor (lezgetreal.com)
- What it Means to be an Ally for Racial Equity – Rev. Sam Trumbore (timesunion.com)
- Is Arizona Finally Fed Up with Right-Wing Politics? (time.com)
Gratitude Sunday
My heart is so full today. I cannot begin to express what this day means for me. So much of Tyler’s life is a struggle… for him as well as for his mama. To see this young man I grew from my own body coming into his own… to have members of my beloved community come to me and tell me they were honored to have been on the review panel when he had his interview…
Those of you on my Facebook know I’m reading Gregory Boyle’s book, Tattoos on the Heart. With as many excerpts as I’ve copied from my kindle, I don’t know how you could miss that tidbit. So in keeping with that theme, here’s another gem.
“When you fill my heart, my eyes overflow.” ~ An Algerian Trappist
Boyle, Gregory (2010). Tattoos on the Heart (Kindle Locations 377-378). Free Press. Kindle Edition.
http://www.facebook.com/v/2079595270848
Unitarian Universalists believe that all religions should and can be accepted. A Unitarian Universalist believes in equality for all religions and every race. Unitarian Universalists often believe that religion is a search for meaning. It is more of an openness to new experiences rather than a set of beliefs. Religions help us to realize that every piece of our lives is related to the others.
Some Unitarian Universalists often think of religion as a time consumer for Sunday. Some Unitarian Universalists think of religion as a way of life, a sacred search for meaning and understanding. Some Unitarian Universalists believe in God, some don’t. Some believe that the theory of God is used to bully other religions and some think that God is a force, a feeling that flows through us and connects us to one another. To seek God would be to seek yourself and your surroundings.
Ho Mitakuye Oyasin. This means, I am related to all things and all things are related to me. I don’t believe in God I believe in love and faith. No matter what the situation is I will stand on the side of love, which means I care for the equality of all living things.
December Chalice Reading
As we light our chalice at the ending of one year and the beginning of another year, we affirm…
- The radiant joy and beauty of the world in which we live
- The unity of all life and our interdependence with the rest of creation
- Our responsibility to care for and sustain all forms of life on the planet for future generations
- The uniqueness and equal dignity of every person
- The power of unconditional love to transform lives
- The importance of constantly seeking truth and wisdom
- Our commitment to support each other in the task of building the Kingdom of Heaven, based on peace, justice and love
- The divine ground of our being that connects us with each other and the infinite and which replenishes and heals us
—Roger Courtney All Souls Non-Subscribing Presbyterian Church, Belfast, N. Ireland
Finding Our Humanity: Calling on my fellow Euro-Americans
Last Sunday I was stopped by a member of my congregation… someone from what I call my church family. She mentioned THIS is why I cannot, will not, comply, written after I explained to my son that I would probably (or not) be arrested on the National Day of Non-Compliance.
After confiding that she’d been thinking about that blog entry ever since, she started to talk about all the different classifications of Americans… Mexican, African, Native, Chinese etc.
I have to confess that I got a little nervous. Because the only thing harder than talking about race with people who are not white, in my experience, is talking about race with people who are. And I felt my shield go up, because I’ve heard one or two profoundly stupid things said in my church home, and I wasn’t sure what was coming. I was afraid it would be some argument about how all those prefixes should be dropped, and my mind was racing because I hadn’t been mentally prepared for a “that thing you said” conversation. But then she asked, “But what am I? Am I Caucasian or European American?” And I responded cautiously, still not sure where we were headed, “Well, there would be Italian, German, and Irish American…”
And then she asked the million dollar question. What can she do, in her day-to-day interactions, to challenge the assumption that Americans are of European descent by default, and everything else is “other.”
I wish I’d had a better answer. I’m a unusal case (in more ways than one, I know…) in that outside of work and church on Sunday, very few people who I see on a daily or weekly basis are white. I shared with her that I make it a point (with people who tend to use race or ethnicity to describe others when it is not relevant to the conversation), to mention EVERYONE’S race (aka, my “this white lady at walgreens” story), I don’t have those kinds of conversations often.
Tonight I was at a volunteer meeting for the Community Posada and someone (not white) mentioned Euro-Americans in a conversation, which was the motivation I needed to write this post and not table it until after I get all the other drafts in my head published. Most of the discussion on what I write happens in the link comments on my Facebook wall, but for the sake of centralizing feedback and hopefully providing some ideas and resources for others, I’d like to ask people to comment here and not on FB. You don’t need to sign up for an account to comment.
I want to hear from my Anglo/Euro/Caucasian American readers. Do you consciously use language to counteract the assumption that Americans are white by default? What does that sound like? How and when do you use it? What kind of reactions do you get? If you don’t, what kind of ideas do you have?
Thanks to all of you in advance, and a very special thanks to my sister. You renewed my faith last Sunday, as well as my commitment to continue witnessing, LOUDLY, about the costs of racism to white people. As proud as we may be to fight for justice, we need to acknowledge that we are also fighting for our own humanity.
A PS… This was written as a call for reflection & discussion to white/euro/anglo/gring@ people because I feel strongly we need to take more responsibility in creating equality and justice for all. People of privilege shouldn’t be looking to the people who are being oppressed to show us the light when we’re holding the matches and candles. That said, if you don’t fall into the targeted demographic and you have a suggestion about how we can do better or want to point out something we may do with the best of intentions that we really shouldn’t, jump right in.
Related Articles
- Own Your Beauty: On Being Multi-Racial in the Racist, Rural South (blogher.com)
- Why Racial Profiling Persists in Medical Research (time.com)
- All Are Alike Unto God: A Reaction to Margaret Blair Young and Darius Aidan Gray’s _Standing On the Promises_ Series (motleyvision.org)
Gratitude Sunday
But I didn’t.
It really should have been a really terrible, horrible, very bad day.
- I lost track of time while laundering/web surfing this morning (not totally unusual), and didn’t wake the girls up until 30 minutes before we would need to leave the house to arrive at church on time if we had to make a stop on the way (which we did, my cupboards are bare).
- Needless to say, I didn’t check the dryer till it was time to get dressed, and all the clothes were still damp. Additionally, now that it is no longer 105 degrees by the time the sun rises in my utility room, bras hung up to dry will still be very damp three hours later.
- I forgot that the dress I pulled out of the closet needs to have the straps shortened until I was pulling it over my head as I was literally walking out of my room towards the front door. Not only did I not have time to change, my other dresses were damp anyway. So I grabbed a sweater. The black one, which I later regretted.
- I had wanted to twist Halle’s hair this morning, as part of an idea I have for the girls’ Poison Ivy look. Since she wound up combing her hair in the car, I decided I would do this at church, because we needed to clean house in the afternoon and I would have to do Daija’s hair in the evening. This was fine with Halle until she got in a tiff with Daija as we were getting out of the car, so she sulked half the time we were chilling on the couch in the lobby..
- I liked the sermon so much over the sound system that I decided that I was going to stay for the second service so I could see it as well. But then I got to talking with a friend and Tyler’s COA mentor… my girls and his were playing so happily, so I just stayed outside chatting and missed the entire service, which was apparently even better than the first service.
- The kids went out to the car while I stopped in the ladies room. As I am sitting on the toilet, I get a phone call that Tyler had tried to start the car so they could listen to the radio (grrr) but nothing happened.
- None of the very few stragglers still at church had jumper cables. It was probably only about 80 degrees, but even at 80F the Sonoran Sun is no joke. I was wearing… a black sweater.
- After a friend from the Quaker House down the street was summoned and came to the rescue with jumper cables AND a non-hybrid vehicle (damn Unitarian Universalists), it was determined that my battery was not the issue. It appeared to be my solenoid. The solenoid on a Buick is mounted under the engine, on the starter, which is a very inconvenient place for it to be if you need to bypass the solenoid to start the vehicle.
So you can see this all has the makings of a really shitty day. Nothing had gone as planned and it was looking like not only was I not going to get my errands done (like, buying groceries), but I was also not likely to have time to clean house, finish laundry, AND do Daija’s hair. Don’t even get me started on what it will do to my Monday if my car is still in the UUCP parking lot.
But then Jason literally banged on the solenoid a few times, and Curly Sue fired right up. We were not only going to get home, but as long as I didn’t turn off the car, I could stop at Walgreens and the grocery store on the way.
And two other friends that I don’t often get to see outside Sunday services, who I’d regretfully declined an invitation to lunch with earlier, gave up their lunch plans to hang out in the parking lot with me until I was up and running.
In addition to having a chance for grown up conversation during that second service I didn’t attend, I also got to chat with church fam that I know well as well as a couple that I often saw in passing during services in previous years, but had connected with on FB over the summer and had enjoyed some great dialogue with.
And I met & exchanged numbers with a mom who is new to Phoenix and our church, who has a biracial daughter one year older and one grade ahead of Halle, who is in Tyler’s COA class this year.
Miraculously, after we left church and the kids were faced with another hour or so of being in the car, they did not fight. They did not complain once. So even though we should REALLY be cleaning house, they’ve been playing outside since we got home. And I’ve decided I’m not even going to be mad that they totally soaked each other with the water hose and have most likely tracked a bunch of mud into the kitchen.
It was a good day. Lots of love and gratitude for my children, the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Phoenix and especially for Jason the Car Whisperer, who gives the BEST hugs (I’m not kidding… they’re known throughout both Arizona AND California). My religious community rocks!
Gratitude Sunday
Well, my good intentions of counting my blessings every Sunday flew out the window as our weeks suddenly got a lot busier… the reasons for which I can only give thanks.
- Ingathering – Unitarian Universalist congregations often don’t have traditional services during the summer, so the first Sunday after Labor Day is like a little family reunion. The following Sunday is when our RE (Religious Education) programming kicks off. You may remember how excited I was two years ago for Tyler to go through Coming of Age (COA) program. About halfway through the year it was obvious that his heart wasn’t really in it… he just wasn’t ready and his heart wasn’t really in it. I gave him the option to either finish the program then or do it this year (COA and OWL (Our Whole Lives) are offered alternating years). He elected to do it this year, and will go through COA with the same kids he went through OWL with. In addition to a great relationship with these peers, he has a great mentor that he also established a great bond with last year, and says is the coolest grown up he knows after me & his dad. Read more…
Saturday Share from Cyndi’s Google Reader
Cathleen Falsani: Anam Cara: Praying for Our Kids and Their ‘Soul Friends’ via Religion on HuffingtonPost.com by Cathleen Falsani on 9/13/10
Cathleen Falsani is journalist, blogger and author of several nonfiction books, including the memoir Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace, and the forthcoming The Thread: Faith, Friendship and Facebook.An Anam Cara is someone with whom you share your deepest loves, fears, dreams, doubts, joys and sorrows. That soul friend will know him and love him for exactly who he is. He or she is a friend who will uplift him, reflect God’s love for him, and draw him toward his Creator, not away or astray.
I prayed that, in the words of William Shakespeare, my son would take his soul friends into his heart and “grapple them to [his] soul with hoops of steel.”
Sounds From Mexico’s Bicentennial via NPR Programs: Tell Me More on 9/16/10
Alfonso Andre, drummer for the Mexican band Jaugares, talks about the band’s remake of the song La Martiniana for a new album that commemorates the Mexican Bicentennial. Andre also talks about his conflicted feelings about celebrating Mexico’s history.
What is the purpose of (sex) education via Adolescent Sexuality by Dr. Karen Rayne on 9/15/10
A good sex education might delay sexual activity. In fact, a good sex education will ideally delay sexual activity. But that’s not the main purpose of good sex education. The main purpose of sex education is to support lifelong healthy sexuality. We must take the long view here. Sex education should not be designed to keep a student from having sex in high school – that is far too short sighted.
Sex education must be designed to address individuals across their lifespans – to give them tools, skills, knowledge, and strength to understand their bodies, to be both introspective and appropriately communicative about their own desires, respectful about other people’s desires, and both safer and reverent about the entire process.
White Feminists and Me: a Fable of Solidarity via Womanist Musings by Renee on 9/14/10
I’m a 23 year old Sinhalese woman in Minnesota by way of Dubai by way of Sri Lanka. I am a Womanist, and part of my womanism is figuring out how to be in solidarity with my transnational sisters worldwide. I’m a daughter, a sister, a partner and a writer. I’m a brown girl who knows Shakespeare by heart and devours anything Toni Morrison. I believe in radical, revolutionary
A Bleak Picture For Young Black Male Students via NPR Programs: Talk of the Nation on 9/13/10
A report from the Massachusetts-based Schott Foundation paints a bleak picture of how young black men fare in school: fewer than half graduate from high school. And in some states, like New York, the graduation rate is as low as one in four. The foundation’s John Jackson and David Sciarra of the Education Law Center discuss what’s needed to improve educational attainment among African American children.
Middle Schools Are Disciplining Kids by Throwing Them Away via Colorlines by Michelle Chen on 9/14/10
Talk all you want about improving our nation’s schools, but the fact is, students can’t close the “achievement gap” when they’re not allowed into the classroom. Yet school suspension rates are climbing and potentially stifling educational opportunity for disadvantaged middle-schoolers, according to a study by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
Activists have long warned of the school-to-prison pipeline–sort of the opposite of the honors track, steering poor kids of color into troubled adolescence and eventually the criminal justice system. The SPLC explains, “Disciplinary tactics that respond to typical adolescent behavior by removing students from school do not better prepare students for adulthood. Instead, they increase their risk of educational failure and dropout.”
Conflating “Ethnic” and “Curvy” via Sociological Images by gwen on 9/15/10
(View original at http://thesocietypages.org/socimages)We’ve noted the fetishization of Black women’s butts before, and the conflation of non-White and curvy (also here). Yes, some non-White women have large butts and cleavage. So do lots of White women. And lots of women in all groups don’t have either, or have just one or the other, or have them but don’t still somehow manage to be very thin and toned overall. But having this body type is, in this case and many others, so identified as “ethnic” that White women who have boobs and hips become examples of “ethnic” beauty, not simply a version of female beauty. Notice that Scarlett Johansson’s body isn’t described as having “European curves” or, I don’t know, “British-American curves” or whatever her ethnic background might be in the way that Jennifer Lopez’s curves are perceived as an ethnic marker. It’s a great example of selective perception: women of all racial/ethnic backgrounds share body shapes, but certain physical features, such as hips, are seen as a group characteristic only for some women.
‘Values Voter Summit’ Will Likely Be Missing Jewish Voters: Conservative Conference Coincides With Yom Kippur via Religion on HuffingtonPost.com by Amanda Terkel on 9/15/10
Yet it’s unlikely observant Jews will be able to attend the event, since it’s being held on Yom Kippur — the holiest Jewish holiday — which begins at sundown on Friday, Sept. 17 and ends at sundown on Saturday, Sept. 18 — right when the majority of the action at the conference is happening (including the Israel panel). In 2009, the Values Voter Summit took place during Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. “Does the FRC think Jews don’t have values?” wondered Salon’s Washington Correspondent Mike Madden last year. “Or was this just the only fall weekend they could get into the Omni Shoreham hotel?”
Anti-Defamation League spokesman Todd Gutnick said his organization didn’t see much of a problem with the conflict in timing. “Since these are all Christian groups involved, Jews wouldn’t be attending anyway,” he told the Huffington Post. Some conservative groups, however, are trying to make inroads with the Jewish community, recognizing that although some on the right consistently accuse progressives of being anti-Israel or even “anti-Jew”, Jews still overwhelmingly vote Democratic. On Monday, FreedomWorks, which helps organize many of the Tea Party gatherings around the country, told reporters that it was launching “a new initiative to reach out to racial, ethnic and religious minorities” — beginning with Jews, to coincide with the High Holidays.
The Huffington Post contacted FRC Action for comment but did not receive a response.
This Week in Blackness: White People and Black People Are So Different via Womanist Musings by Renee on 9/17/10
Elon James has come up with a new This Week in Blackness, and of course I absolutely had to share it with you. This week, Elon talked about the fact that Blacks and Whites experience the same event differently because of racism. Whiteness has been taught to ignore this because it has been normalized therefore; it is quite easy to believe in a universal perspective. There is a large difference
Angela Himsel: Excuse Me, Are You…? via Religion on HuffingtonPost.com by Angela Himsel on 9/17/10
On Yom Kippur, when I stand in synagogue for hours and recite the prayers, striking my fist against my chest to atone for my sins, and as I become more and more tired with the lack of food, water and more importantly, caffeine, it’s then that I feel a kind of certainty that God sees and loves each one of us in all of our totality, even the parts that we hide from one another and from ourselves. Wherever we are, whoever we’re with, God recognizes us and never needs to ask, on Yom Kippur or any other day, “Excuse me, are you Angela?”
Off and Running Toward My Own Identity [Racialigious] via Racialicious – the intersection of race and pop culture on 9/7/10
by Guest Contributor Collier Meyerson, originally published at Be’Chol Lashon
At 13 years old, in the planning stages of my Bat Mitzvah, my Hebrew School teacher called a meeting at his home to discuss details. He opened his door to see me, my father who is an Ashkenazi Jew and my black mother. Upon seeing my family, without asking, he regrettably informed us that the synagogue, would not allow me to perform the right of passage in their temple because my mother wasn’t a Jew. My wily mother, coyly and smarmily responded “oh, but her mother is Jewish.”
Yes, it turns out my biological mother is a white Ashkenazi Jew.
And with these words, my Hebrew school teacher, as though I was caught in the Woody Allen version of my own life as a film, threw his hands into the air and exclaimed “it’s Bashert [it’s destiny] then! You’ll have your Bat Mitzvah in the Temple!” In that moment I felt a definitive rage. I wanted desperately to be a part of the Upper West Side’s most exclusive and popular clique, Judaism, but felt what would prove to be an indelible stake in this idea of blackness, something pitted against Jewishness. And so there it was, in the home of my Hebrew School teacher that the two were separated, like oil and water.
I was Black and Jewish but I couldn’t be both, I couldn’t be a Black Jew.
Preparing My Kids To Be Able To Run Through Walls via Racialicious – the intersection of race and pop culture on 9/7/10
by Guest Contributor Paula, originally published at Heart, Mind, and Seoul
I think about the walls that threatened to thwart my growth when I was younger and how completely ill-prepared I was to handle them. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I realize that perhaps I’ve been far too generous in assessing how well equipped I was to deal with the very real walls of racism, prejudice and discrimination throughout my life. I have no doubt that my parents love and concern imparted upon me the knowledge that they were always there for me – and yes, that is huge in it’s own right – but as an Asian girl/adolescent/young adult, I recognize now just how unprepared I was in terms of not having the right language or effective strategies to be my own best advocate in my racially isolated world.
Bloggers Unite – International Literacy Day: Reducing Illiteracy in the Prison Population Benefits ALL of Us! via THE INTERSECTION | MADNESS & REALITY by Joanna on 9/8/10
An estimated 20 percent of the adult population in the US is functionally illiterate. That figure SKYROCKETS to over 60 percent when you examine the literacy rates of the inmate population in jails and prisons across the country. And even more appalling is the fact that over 85 percent of juvenile offenders have literacy issues.
Considering that illiteracy commonly leads to lengthy and repeated bouts of unemployment (over 75 percent of unemployed adults have some problems with reading and writing) the low rate of literacy among the inmate population is a recipe for explosive recidivism rates. After all, if an ex-prisoner is unable to find or keep a job due to literacy issues, where else can he turn but back to the behaviors that landed him in jail in the first place?
Although a lot of people take the “lock them up and throw away the key” attitude toward prisoners, and would rather REDUCE the services available to prisoners, there is PROOF that literacy programs in prison CAN and DO help reduce the rates of recidivism, and can lead to an overall reduction in incarceration rates.
Us (Moms) vs. Them (Teens) via I am the Glue by Laura on 9/11/10
This will be an 18 year round/fight.
Keep it clean…your language…your room…etc.
At the end of the match, the winner will be decided by who is left standing, or not in jail, or rehab.
I am taking bets now.
I got some insider information…shhh…this is on the down low.
Us moms are the best bet because we have been there and done that.
Got a teenager to show for it.
What I Did On My Summer Vacation…or Why Water Communion Makes Me Uncomfortable via East Of Midnight by Kim on 9/14/10
Can anybody explain Water Communion to me in a way that doesn’t make it seem like it’s a glorified Show-and-Tell and another example of how classist UUism can be?
Michael Zimmerman, Ph.D.: Overturning the Texas School Board Madness? It’s Possible via Religion on HuffingtonPost.com by Michael Zimmerman, Ph.D. on 9/14/10
Voters in Texas’s 5th District have the opportunity to put an end to the embarrassing and anti-intellectual actions that have diminished education across the state, and that’s an opportunity that will likely impact text book choices around the rest of the United States. I, for one, hope that they opt to do just that by replacing Ken Mercer’s madness with Rebecca Bell-Metereau’s thoughtfulness.
Charges That a Civil Rights Hero Was an FBI Spy Shouldn’t Shock Us via Colorlines by Barbara Ransby on 9/17/10
These stories remind us not only that our government has routinely violated the basic civil liberties of so many black activists over several generations, but it reminds us of the complexities and limitations of presumed racial loyalty. The Black Press was given access to movement events and meetings in the 1960s that white reporters were not. Why? It was assumed that a level of racial solidarity and loyalty existed. Maybe that was true. But maybe it wasn’t. We continue to project false expectations onto politicians and self-appointed race leaders because of phenotype rather than politics, ideas and other more tangible markers of “loyalty” to oppressed people. Everyone who looks like “us” is not a friend, and everyone who looks different is not automatically the enemy. This is a simple lesson that some of us still have to learn.
Promise of a better life leads to the nightmare of sexual slavery – CNN via articles.cnn.com on 9/18/10
Many people associate prostitution with women walking the streets in shady areas and being picked up by johns. But Claudia says the prostitution ring for which she was forced to work had a long list of clients who knew the price they had to pay, who to call and where to go. It’s a well-organized and lucrative underground industry. Luis CdeBaca monitors human trafficking at the U.S. State Department. He says there are no reliable figures on the scale of the problem, but forced prostitution from Mexico and Central America is a big part of it.
Related Articles
- Teens report high exposure to sex education (washingtontimes.com)
- Most Teens Receive Formal Sex Ed (webmd.com)
- A Bleak Picture For Young Black Male Students (npr.org)
- CDC: One-third of sex ed omits birth control (msnbc.msn.com)
Saturday Share from Cyndi’s Google Reader
A couple months ago my cousin tickled me pink by saying she wished she could subscribe to my FB links feed or something like that. I’m pondering a couple blogs in process and a conversation I had with the tween last night and didn’t get anything written, so I took inspiration from Jessica & decided to just share a few blogs and articles I really enjoyed this week. Read more…
Tea Parties, Coffee Parties… let’s all just have CAKE
In discussions about immigration and SB1070, people from both sides of the issue are prone to making sweeping statements and accusations about the other. I had a really awesome talk with a “small government” friend this week, and we shared experiences of trying to engage people on the other side of the debate in dialogue about the ISSUE and finding ourselves on the receiving end of personal insults, both disappointed that people don’t want conversation; they are just looking for confrontation.
*heavy sigh* We can all do better than this.
I come from a military family… my mother, father, stepfather, grandfather and great grandfather all served in the military, so I grew up “everywhere.” I’ve lived in at least eight states… both coasts, the south and the midwest. I’ve lived overseas twice, and had the opportunity to visit several other countries as a result. I know, as one of my favorite hymns goes, that other hearts are beating in other lands, all just as beautiful as mine.
- This is my song, oh God of all the nations
- a song of peace for lands afar and mine.
- This is my home, the country where my heart is;
- here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine;
- but other hearts in other lands are beating
- with hopes and dreams as true and high as mine
- a song of peace for their land and for mine.
- My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean,
- and sunlight beams on clover leaf and pine.
- But other lands have sunlight too and clover,
- and skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
- This is my song, oh God of all the nations;
going to a party… a tea party, that is…
If you’re wondering if the title of this entry is a joke or a vie for your attention, it’s not. Well, definitely not the former, maybe a little bit the latter. This isn’t what I had planned for today, and even though this entry might make more sense if I publish the other one first, seeing as it is a detailed explanation of my personal views on SB1070, the article I have in draft will wait for another day, because right now I feel a need to “Witness.”
So, it happened like this… it was almost time to leave work, and I was well past done with stupid (I’ve been known to announce to the department, “Ok, that’s it… I’m done with stupid!”), and when I got up to put some docs I’d just reviewed in the next person’s inbox, and decided to visit a friend’s desk to insist that the happy hour we’ve been talking about for approximately two months needed to happen soon. He tortured me by listing all the weekends he’ll be out of town (damn single people), mentioned something about a rally he was planning on attending in DC, and then commented that he’d been planning on making me go to happy hour with him anyway.
Is it a tea party rally?
Well, no, but there’s nothing wrong with that. And a brief conversation about media coverage of tea party rally’s ensued… then,
How are you planning to “make” me go do something we’ve been talking about for two months?
Well, I know you and I agree on a LOT of stuff but we don’t believe the same things. And I know you’re not a wagon jumper… I know that you don’t just jump on the bandwagon, you have solid reasons behind it.
That boy couldn’t have melted my heart faster if it had been butter & he’d been holding a blowtorch. But I figured this had probably come up as a result of me wearing my Standing on the Side of Love shirt to work on July 30th, the day after the protests, which I realized in retrospect probably fueled a lot of speculation as to whether I’d spent the night in jail (alas, but no…).
So we got into a conversation about SB1070, and I explained my views on border security, the immigration system, and SB1070… what I think the problems are, what I think would fix them, etc. He listened, nodded frequently, and at the end of my monologue, said basically that my arguments are really solid, and when he’s tried to have conversations with people, all they can say is that it’s racist. To which I replied, “I agree that it’s racist, and this is why…” and as I spoke, he nodded, cracked a few grins cuz you all know I have no filters, and then said, “That totally makes sense, but nobody else that I have talked to has explained it that way.” And I talked a little bit about race relations, that in my experience, on one side you have a group of people who are very uncomfortable talking about race in mixed company because on the other hand, you have white people who are very uncomfortable hearing about race in mixed company. We as a whole are not very good at differentiating between personal racism and institutional racism, and white people are especially bad at it, and tend to assume that anytime someone says this law is racist, that they personally are being called racist and they immediately get defensive. The wall goes up and the communication goes down the toilet. More agreement from him, and he lamented that because he has favored the law, he’s been immediately being labeled a racist. I lamented that because I oppose it, because I actually believe in what we printed on the fucking Statue of Liberty, I get to be called anti American.
So as I’m preparing to go, he says, So do you want to go to a tea party rally with me? I thought about being in close quarters with that many white people (and yes, I have looked in a mirror lately)… “No, not really.” “C’mon, why? I’m serious, I’ve been to several and I’ve never seen anything like what hits the news. They’ve always been the nicest people, they just believe in small government like I do.”
And so I had to ask myself, OK Cyndi… WHY? You talked yourself hoarse two weeks ago about media bias and how deeply imbedded in our subconscious these racialized images are. Do you really believe that, and if you do, then you know that your reluctance to go anywhere with this friend who you admire and respect is based solely on a media stereotype. You’ve been all about the first principle… do you really affirm and promote the inherent dignity of all people? How many times have you commented wryly that you’re always preaching to the damn choir? You’re always talking about being the change you want to see in the world. Are you really open minded, or is that just CYNDI”S spin? Is this an opportunity for you to learn something and hopefully teach something?
So as I walked out I said over my shoulder, “I’ll go to a tea party rally with you if you go to an event with me.”
He said, Done deal.
I hope he likes yellow.
chatter